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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Verb To Follow Noun; Prepositional Phrase To Follow

NEW YORK—A verb is slated to follow a noun in an area sentence this week, with a prepositional phrase expected to follow by sentence end. President Clinton, a proper noun, praised the sentence, saying, "I am proud to commend this basic achievement in sentence construction." There was no comment from the sentence, as it did not contain quotation marks at press time.

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