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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Very Lenient Umpire Tells Base Runner Next Time He Gets Tagged He’s Out

MIAMI—Umpire Laz Diaz displayed an unusual amount of leniency Sunday, allowing a clearly tagged Hanley Ramirez to take third base regardless of his failed steal attempt, on condition the Marlins shortstop understood he could not count on the same treatment next time. “I told him next time he’s tagged out, I’m calling him out,” Diaz told reporters after the game. “But I figured Hanley makes that play 9 out of 10 times, so for him to mess up that badly means something’s probably going on in his personal life, and hey, we’ve all been there. I can respect that.” Asked why the umpire also declared Logan Morrison’s eighth-inning foul a home run, Diaz replied, “You could see in his eyes he meant to hit a home run.”

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