Vick Calls Fumble In Cowboys Game 'The Worst Thing I've Ever Done'

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Vol 46 Issue 02

Roommate's Work Schedule Remains Complete And Total Mystery

BOSTON—"I'm not sure exactly what he does, but I think he said he works at this place where he makes these calls to people for these events," said Kyle Fisher, who added that, from what he can tell, his roommate works anywhere from 10 to 60 hours a week.

U.S. Obesity Levels Out

According to statistics collected by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, obesity rates in the United States have remained constant over...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Vick Calls Fumble In Cowboys Game 'The Worst Thing I've Ever Done'

ARLINGTON, TX—Eagles backup quarterback Michael Vick apologized to fans immediately after his team's 34-14 wild-card loss to the Cowboys Saturday, saying his fumbled handoff attempt late in the first half was "absolutely the most damning and hurtful act of [his] life." "I guess I just thought I could hand the ball off to the fullback without any repercussions, but never in my life have I been so wrong. Never," a visibly contrite Vick said to the assembled reporters. "I just want to apologize to my family, friends, and most important, the fans. There are things I have done in my time on this earth that I regret, but this fumble is undeniably the worst." Eagles fans responded to Vick's statement by saying he was absolutely correct.

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