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Video-Camera Tips

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Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.

NFL Vows To Fix Bottomless Pit On Levi’s Stadium Field Before Super Bowl

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following persistent safety concerns regarding the playing surface throughout the regular season, the NFL made firm assurances Friday to both the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers that the bottomless pit in the middle of the field at Levi’s Stadium will be fully repaired before Super Bowl 50.
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  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

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Video-Camera Tips

Video cameras are a fun and easy way to record those special moments in life.

Here are some tips for getting the most out of them:

Video-Camera Tips


  • An important rule of thumb for the video-camera novice is that everybody in the world wants to see your toddler gorge on a slice of cake.
  • Pointing the camera at the TV screen it is hooked up to will create a wicked-cool "endless tunnel" effect which will blow your viewers' minds.
  • If your high-end digital-video camera is not operating properly, simply throw it away and buy a new one. After all, you're made of money, Mr. I Own A High-End Digital-Video Camera.
  • Don't even bother picking up the video camera until the bride is on her third drink.
  • To provide viewers with an exciting, first-person point-of-view of your life, bolt the video camera directly into your skull.
  • Before videotaping those priceless memories of that special someone, make sure to cover up the power-indicator light and leave the closet door slightly ajar.
  • If you are acclaimed Dogme 95 director Lars von Trier, stop reading this list immediately. You need no advice on digital-camera use.
  • Remember: You won't always get that perfect shot on the first try. Don't be afraid to ask the abusive, racist policeman to take it from the top.
  • Endless footage of your cat wandering away from the camera while you shout its name and try unsuccessfully to get it to look at the camera is sure to delight friends and relatives.
  • To allow for movement on the part of your subject, focus the camera on a point midway between the base of the breast and tip of the nipple.
  • To point out the futility of existence, videotape your preschooler building an elaborate sandcastle on the beach, then pull in close to capture her facial reaction as the tide rolls in and slowly destroys her creation.

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