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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Video Game Shopkeeper Starting To Get Suspicious After Selling 800 Bombs To Player

CASTLE FALGAR—Wondering what the man could possibly have been planning with such a purchase, video game shopkeeper Eldoth Silvershield told reporters Tuesday that he was beginning to get suspicious of a customer who had recently bought 800 bombs in a single visit. “Usually I don’t ask questions, but this guy just walked straight into my store and dropped, like, a hundred-thousand gold pieces on bombs in one go,” said Silvershield, noting with concern that the customer offered no explanation whatsoever of his intentions for the explosives, even as he added 450 flaming arrows to his order. “Then he said he was going to need magic armor and every healing elixir I had in stock. I mean, who buys all that unless they’re really planning on doing something really, really bad? Maybe I should tell a knight or something?” At press time, Silvershield had heard what transpired at Darkstone Keep and knew with a shudder who was responsible.

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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