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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Video Store's 'Favorites' Shelf Offers Telling Glimpse Into Manager's Psyche

ITHACA, NY–The "Favorites" shelf at King Street Video offers insight into the psyche of store manager Bruce Gannon, psychiatrists concurred Monday. "Gannon reveals much about himself with his picks," said Dr. Miles Levinson of Cornell University. "Deliverance, A Clockwork Orange, Lolita, Blue Velvet, Eraserhead, Natural Born Killers, Caligula... Apparently, he couldn't even find room for one film that does not contain sodomy, incest, or torture." Dr. Levinson recommended therapy and antidepressants for Gannon.

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