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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Video Store's 'Favorites' Shelf Offers Telling Glimpse Into Manager's Psyche

ITHACA, NY–The "Favorites" shelf at King Street Video offers insight into the psyche of store manager Bruce Gannon, psychiatrists concurred Monday. "Gannon reveals much about himself with his picks," said Dr. Miles Levinson of Cornell University. "Deliverance, A Clockwork Orange, Lolita, Blue Velvet, Eraserhead, Natural Born Killers, Caligula... Apparently, he couldn't even find room for one film that does not contain sodomy, incest, or torture." Dr. Levinson recommended therapy and antidepressants for Gannon.

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