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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Viewer Outraged

SHREVEPORT, LA—Longtime television viewer Abraham Frank, 78, expressed outrage Tuesday over a Married With Children episode in which a swimsuit beauty pageant featured many scantily clad young ladies, many with oiled skin. "I am outraged," Frank said. "I did not care for that program one bit." In the past, Frank has been outraged by televised displays of violence, interracial romance and the use of the word "booty."

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