Vikings Criticized For Not Running Up Score High Enough On Cowboys

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Vol 46 Issue 03

Air America Ceases Operations

As of Thursday, liberal radio network Air America stopped all live programming and announced it was filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. What do...

Lane Kiffin Leaves USC For Dream Job At GameStop

LOS ANGELES—During his introductory press conference as USC's new head coach last Wednesday, Lane Kiffin told reporters that he would be leaving the school indefinitely to pursue his dream of working at GameStop.

Good-Looking One Not Working Today

BROOKLYN, NY—Coffee shop patron Justin Burke was disappointed by the Good-Looking One's absence, and admitted that he initially mistook the One With The Slightly Off Face for the Good-Looking One, but quickly realized his error once she turned around.
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Vikings Criticized For Not Running Up Score High Enough On Cowboys

MINNEAPOLIS—All corners of the sporting world sounded off against the Minnesota Vikings this week for their conduct at the end of their divisional playoff game against the Dallas Cowboys, saying that even after a late touchdown made the score 34-3, the Vikings were obligated by general principle to humiliate the Cowboys further by attempting to score even more points. "As far as I'm concerned, by holding back against Dallas, the Vikings showed a complete disregard for gamesmanship,"said ESPN analyst Mark Schlereth, adding that, when a team has the Cowboys down, stomping on their throats and trying to win by 50 or even 60 points is the classy thing to do. "How about a long bomb to Rice while Terence Newman is half-assing it and looking ahead to next season? Maybe a fake punt? Maybe rubbing their noses in it by sending eight men to cripple Tony Romo? All I have to say is that [Vikings coach] Brad Childress should be ashamed of himself." Vikings quarterback Brett Favre responded to the controversy by saying that no team wants to be on the same field as the Cowboys any longer than they have to be.

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