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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Vikings Criticized For Not Running Up Score High Enough On Cowboys

MINNEAPOLIS—All corners of the sporting world sounded off against the Minnesota Vikings this week for their conduct at the end of their divisional playoff game against the Dallas Cowboys, saying that even after a late touchdown made the score 34-3, the Vikings were obligated by general principle to humiliate the Cowboys further by attempting to score even more points. "As far as I'm concerned, by holding back against Dallas, the Vikings showed a complete disregard for gamesmanship,"said ESPN analyst Mark Schlereth, adding that, when a team has the Cowboys down, stomping on their throats and trying to win by 50 or even 60 points is the classy thing to do. "How about a long bomb to Rice while Terence Newman is half-assing it and looking ahead to next season? Maybe a fake punt? Maybe rubbing their noses in it by sending eight men to cripple Tony Romo? All I have to say is that [Vikings coach] Brad Childress should be ashamed of himself." Vikings quarterback Brett Favre responded to the controversy by saying that no team wants to be on the same field as the Cowboys any longer than they have to be.

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