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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Vikings Not Going To Tinker With Way Adrian Peterson Fumbles Ball

MINNEAPOLIS—In an effort to preserve the running back's aggressive fumbling style, Vikings coach Brad Childress announced Monday that the training staff would not attempt to alter Adrian Peterson's two-point technique for loosely carrying the football. "When you have a great natural fumbler like Adrian Peterson, you don't want to mess with that," Childress said. "That's just raw talent right there. Nobody can expose the ball exactly the way he does. You can't teach that." Peterson has reportedly spent the off-season working with NFL veterans Warren Moon and Dave Krieg to improve his dropping mechanics.

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