Vikings Stand Behind Brett Favre's Decision To Jerk Team Around For Months

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Vol 46 Issue 04

Disney Shutters Miramax

The Walt Disney Company is closing down its indie-film arm Miramax, the home of such films as The Piano and Pulp Fiction. What do...
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Vikings Stand Behind Brett Favre's Decision To Jerk Team Around For Months

EDEN PRAIRIE, MN—Players, coaches, and front-office personnel are united in their support of Brett Favre's decision to waffle, demur, delay, beat around the bush, and generally yank them around for months on end while they wait for him to make a decision about his retirement. "He's a living legend and our captain, so we support him if he needs to take some time to fuck with us," said backup quarterback Tarvaris Jackson, whose future would benefit greatly from a quick decision by Favre and whose life and career are basically in limbo until the future Hall of Famer once again makes up his mind. "We could only watch in envy as he did exactly this in Green Bay all those years, but to see him jerk around your own team… It's an honor, really." Favre responded to questions abut retirement by confirming that he was planning to draw out the situation for months and would ultimately do whatever was most annoying for the team.

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