Vikings Sticking With McNabb Because They Hate Him

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Vol 47 Issue 41

Report: All The Good Seashells Taken

CORAL GABLES, FL—According to a report released Monday by a group of environmental researchers, all the good seashells worth picking up and bringing home have already been taken, a development that threatens the very future of shell collection regionally.

Topeka Decriminalizes Domestic Violence

Following a dispute between city and county officials over who should pay to prosecute offenders, the Topeka City Council voted to decriminalize misdemeanor domestic violence. What do you think?

Hollywood Announces Plan To Remake Jimmy Stewart

Congress passes a law requiring every U.S. dog to wear a neckerchief, a report shows that your mother is silently weeping about you right now, and an actor sometimes feels silly pretending to be somebody else. It's the week of October 10th, 2011.
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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

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Vikings Sticking With McNabb Because They Hate Him

MINNEAPOLIS—In a press conference Thursday, Minnesota head coach Leslie Frazier made it clear Donovan McNabb would remain the team’s quarterback for the foreseeable future, as Frazier and every other person in the Vikings organization completely despises the 12-year veteran and enjoys nothing more than seeing him fail. "Yes, we're 0-4, but starting Donovan McNabb is still what's best for the team and worst for his health and well-being," said Frazier, going so far as to add there is no other player in the entire NFL he'd rather see losing games for the Minnesota Vikings. "We know Christian Ponder is the QB of the future, but don't think this is about protecting him. This is about watching Donovan McNabb suffer." Despite his firm stance on the team’s starting quarterback, Frazier admitted he was hopeful Ponder would see action on the field this year after McNabb suffers a career-threatening injury.

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