adBlockCheck

Sports

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
End Of Section
  • More News

Vikings Sticking With McNabb Because They Hate Him

MINNEAPOLIS—In a press conference Thursday, Minnesota head coach Leslie Frazier made it clear Donovan McNabb would remain the team’s quarterback for the foreseeable future, as Frazier and every other person in the Vikings organization completely despises the 12-year veteran and enjoys nothing more than seeing him fail. "Yes, we're 0-4, but starting Donovan McNabb is still what's best for the team and worst for his health and well-being," said Frazier, going so far as to add there is no other player in the entire NFL he'd rather see losing games for the Minnesota Vikings. "We know Christian Ponder is the QB of the future, but don't think this is about protecting him. This is about watching Donovan McNabb suffer." Despite his firm stance on the team’s starting quarterback, Frazier admitted he was hopeful Ponder would see action on the field this year after McNabb suffers a career-threatening injury.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close