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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Villagers Turned Into Crack Fighting Squad Overnight

SILVER GULCH, NV–The good, God-fearing people of Silver Gulch, a sleepy frontier town known primarily for its pleasant annual Founder's Festival and Ma Beasley's delicious pies, expertly fended off Boss Cafferty's armed goons following their overnight transformation into a crack fighting squad Sunday. "Those gun-slinging prairie pirates were no match for little Molly O'Shea and her tater skillet!" town miller Pete Johnson whooped after the estimated two dozen heavily armed thugs were driven from Main Street. "And anyone who tries to muscle in on Silver Gulch's diamond mine can expect the same!" Johnson and his fellow townsfolk were whipped into fighting shape by reformed outlaw Bart "Three Finger" Hoskins during a seven-minute montage sequence.

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