Villain Contends He, Hero 'Very Much Alike'

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Villain Contends He, Hero 'Very Much Alike'

JUSTICE CITY—Two seemingly diametrically opposed figures were compared Monday as evil crimelord Cyrus Darkheart confided to longtime nemesis Captain Freedom that the two are in many ways"“very much alike." "We are not so different, are we?" Darkheart said. "You see, like me, the source of your great power is the very thing that threatens to destroy you. And yet you refuse to face it." Darkheart then noted aloud the irony of his observation before activating his doomsday device.