Vin Diesel Will Finally Kiss Car In 'Fast & Furious 6'

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Vol 49 Issue 08

Daniel Craig Takes Home Pretty Good Actor Award

LOS ANGELES—As industry insiders had been predicting for weeks, Daniel Craig was a big winner at last night’s 85th Academy Awards ceremony after the 44-year-old actor took home the Pretty Good Actor Award, Hollywood’s highest achievement...

Are You Holding A Spoon Or A Fork?

FOOD 8 p.m. EST/7 p.m. CST Producers had to search high and low for some real idiots to make this show at all interesting, but boy did they find some.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Entertainment

Vin Diesel Will Finally Kiss Car In 'Fast & Furious 6'

LOS ANGELES—Fans of the Fast & Furious franchise were reportedly thrilled this week after Universal Pictures announced the sixth installment in the series would include a long-anticipated love scene between star Vin Diesel and his character’s beloved 1970 Dodge Charger. “The sexual tension between Dom Toretto [Diesel] and his car has been simmering since the crew first stormed the world of underground racing in the first film, and now the audience will finally get to see that relationship taken to the next level,” a Universal spokesman said of the scene, which he confirmed occurs during a suspenseful chase sequence, with Diesel pausing a moment to pull the 900-horsepower automobile into an alley and passionately kiss its grill before the two screech back out onto the street. “After years of will-they-won’t-they, fans will finally get what they’ve been waiting for. Vin told us he was a little nervous about doing some of the steamier shots, but he was truly a professional about it. And trust me, he pulls it off.” At press time, representatives for both Diesel and the car had vehemently denied reports that the two were involved in an offscreen romance.

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