adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Violence Erupts At Trump Rally After Supporters Clash With Protesting GOP Leaders

TAMPA, FL—Describing a chaotic scene that resulted in dozens of injuries, sources confirmed Tuesday that violence erupted at a rally for Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump after his supporters clashed with protesting GOP leaders. “Five minutes into Trump’s speech, these really upset older guys in suits suddenly stood up and started shouting a bunch of anti-Trump stuff, and the crowd immediately started pounding on them,” said rally attendee Jared Boyton, noting that former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney, who hoisted a handmade sign depicting Trump in a KKK robe beneath the words “Fascism Is Not Conservatism,” was quickly knocked out by a punch to the back of the head, and that Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham were shoved to the floor and repeatedly kicked by the angry mob. “Then [RNC chairman] Reince Priebus and [House Speaker] Paul Ryan rushed the stage and tried to grab Trump’s microphone, but the Secret Service tackled them both to the ground. They kept yelling something about how Trump must be stopped as the agents dragged them out of the building, but you couldn’t really hear what they were saying over the crowd’s boos.” Sources confirmed that the bloodied and battered Republican leaders were held overnight in the Hillsborough County Jail before being bailed out by former New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close