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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Visiting Friend Okay Doing Whatever

SAN FRANCISCO—Minutes after arriving at Scott Clark's apartment Friday, college friend Marc Karam, 26, announced that he didn't really have any plans in mind for his visit, and that he would be fine doing pretty much whatever this weekend. "Up to you, man—I'm down for anything," said Karam, suggesting the two could just walk around the city for a while, check out Fisherman's Wharf, hang out in the apartment, or maybe see what Brent's up to later. "Honestly, I'm just here to see you, so it really doesn't matter to me. And hey, if you got stuff you need to do, just go do it. I brought my laptop." Clark later suggested that the two could go to Chinatown, which Karam rejected, saying he'd rather do something he hasn't done before.

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