Visiting Parents Unknowingly Strike Up Conversation With Parents Of Dorm's Blowjob Queen

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Vol 48 Issue 21

$lapping $trangers

MTV 9:00 p.m. EST/8:00 p.m. CST Contestants must slap as many unsuspecting passersby as they can for a chance to win $300.

Report: 5th Floor A Bunch Of Pompous Dicks

SEATTLE—Citing their stuck-up attitudes and stupid, hip little outfits, a devastating new report from Waverly Building sources found Tuesday that the people who work on the fifth floor are a bunch of pompous dicks.

Friends Of Friends

NBC 9:00 p.m. EST/8:00 p.m. CST In tonight's episode of this spin-off of the classic '90s sitcom, Charlie and five other more-or-less strangers awkwardly talk about what a great guy Ross is while trying to discreetly check the time.

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan

The Senate Appropriations Committee voted 30-0 to cut aid to Pakistan by $33 million after the country’s government arrested and sentenced a doctor who tipped off the United States to Osama bin Laden's location.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Visiting Parents Unknowingly Strike Up Conversation With Parents Of Dorm's Blowjob Queen

BOSTON— As they helped their son move out of Boston University's Warren Towers dormitory Wednesday, the parents of student Jay Wiernick struck up a conversation with the parents of fellow student Elaine Marcone, reportedly oblivious to the fact that the Marcones' 19-year-old daughter was the residence hall's blowjob queen. "I wonder if Jay's ever met her," said Lori Wiernick in reference to the freshman who, unbeknownst to Wiernick, was known throughout the 1,800-room dormitory for giving blowjobs to pretty much anyone who asked, sometimes to two guys at once. "Her parents said she was pre-med, right? Like Jay? I bet they've at least had one lab together. I'll ask him." According to sources, the Marcones were equally unaware that the Wiernicks' son was widely acknowledged as the dorm's blowjob king.

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