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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Voters Deny Cal Ripken Entrance Into Hall Of Fame: 'He Just Wasn't Very Good'

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Baltimore Orioles shortstop Cal Ripken Jr. failed to receive the 75 percent of the vote needed to gain admittance into the Baseball Hall of Fame Tuesday because, according to the majority of voters, Ripken "simply wasn't very good." "He was just sort of there, you know?" said ESPN's Peter Gammons, who described the 21-year veteran's career as "okay." "Sure, he made a few All-Star teams, but seriously, I would hope that any professional baseball player who played as long as Ripken would reach 3,000 hits, or at least win an MVP or two." According to Gammons, Ripken's failure to be admitted into the Hall of Fame may also have to do with the fact that his intense work ethic, his willingness to stay with one team for the entirety of his career, and the fact that he never took anabolic steroids clearly indicates that, over the years, the game of baseball has passed him by.

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