adBlockCheck

Wacky Morning DJ Faces Crisis Of Journalistic Ethics

Top Headlines

Local

Grievances Brought Up With Powerless Supervisor

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Fed up with an increasing workload and problems with his coworkers at CLG Software, project coordinator William Garsten reportedly took a list of grievances Wednesday to supervisor Todd Watkins, a middle manager utterly powerless to...

Mom Sleeps In Past Sunrise

WOBURN, MA―Noting that she had somehow managed to sleep through both the dawn chorus of birds and her neighborhood’s early morning garbage pickup, 53-year-old local mother Laura Maloney confirmed that she did not awaken Monday until after the sun had risen.

Area Dad Needs More Time With Museum Plaque

NEW YORK—Leaning in close to the paragraph of text as his family continued on to the museum’s other exhibits, area dad and Frick Collection visitor Phillip Schermeier, 58, reportedly needed more time with the plaque beside Rembrandt’s 1626 painting Palamedes In Front Of Agamemnon Thursday.

Friend From College Wasted No Time Becoming White-Collar Professional

CHARLOTTE, NC—Noting how his fellow 23-year-old now takes business trips and apparently has a company-issued cell phone, local barista Daniel MacKenzie reported Friday that his friend Eric Sanford—with whom MacKenzie attended the University of Virginia from 2011 to 2015—has wasted no time at all becoming a full-fledged white-collar professional.

Waitress Who Took Over At Table Just Doesn’t Have Same Spark As Richard

FREEPORT, ME—Sensing things wouldn’t be the same once the woman removed their empty potato skin basket without so much as a playful acknowledgment of how much they must have enjoyed the appetizer, patrons at Downeast Grill confirmed Wednesday night that their new waitress, Allie, just didn’t have the same spark Richard had.

Man Practices Haircut Request Before Heading To Barber

MINNEAPOLIS—Having scripted a set of lines he hoped to deliver with confidence and decisiveness, local 34-year-old Jason Clyne carefully rehearsed his haircut request several times Friday before heading to his local barbershop, sources confirmed.

Ronald McDonald Statue Bears Full Brunt Of Teenagers’ Mockery

CLEVELAND—Remaining stoically silent throughout the barrage of vicious insults, unsavory accusations, and various other indignities directed at it, a statue of Ronald McDonald seated on a bench outside the fast-food chain’s Clark Avenue location is said to have borne the full force of a group of teenagers’ mockery Thursday.

Woman Leaving Meeting Worried She Came Off As Too Competent

OXNARD, CA—Silently chastising herself for the way she behaved in front of her colleagues and supervisors, Cobalt Property Insurance sales associate Leah Manning, 36, was reportedly deeply worried Tuesday that she came off as too competent during the company’s weekly sales meeting.

Mom Has Stacked Dinner Party Roster

GOLDEN, CO—Their eyes widening in amazement as the 43-year-old rattled off the names of heavy hitter after heavy hitter, impressed members of the Dreeshen household confirmed Friday that the roster for their mom’s upcoming dinner party was absolutely stacked.

Bold Intern Giving Parents Tour Of Office

CHICAGO—Brazenly strolling through the rows of desks while pointing out the firm’s various departments to his two guests, Lodestone Media intern Nate Kapper, 19, made the incredibly bold move of giving his parents a tour of the company’s offices Wednesday, sources reported.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Wacky Morning DJ Faces Crisis Of Journalistic Ethics

OAK PARK, IL—Controversy embroiled Oak Park's Q102 FM Morning Zoo Tuesday, when wacky morning DJ "Madman" Mike Antony claimed that a proposed on-location promotional broadcast at the Bob Adler Chrysler/Plymouth auto dealership would contradict the ethics of broadcast journalism.

"Madman" Mike Antony addresses Q102 morning listeners.

"I became a broadcaster to enlighten and entertain," Antony told his listeners at 8 a.m. after cutting into his trademark novelty song "Monicarena," and warning the audience that he had to get serious for a minute. "I'd like to think that it means something to all of you that I jumpstart your day in an honorable fashion, without dragging the Q Morning Zoo Crew through the dirt with paid business endorsements."

"The Q102 Morning Zoo—you don't listen to it, you survive it!" he added, underscoring his speech with cheering-crowd sound effects.

Although representatives of the Q102 sales and marketing department say the station's June 25-27 Bob Adler Chrysler Plymouth Minivans & Maxi-Hits Summer Sales Event will proceed as scheduled, Antony maintains that he will not participate.

Q102 executive director Andrew Marone responded in a memo Tuesday afternoon that he is "saddened" by Antony's statements, but added that if he does not show up under the big Q102 tent for games and giveaways on June 25, "Madman Mike may just find himself looking for another job."

According to his fellow Zoo Crewers, Antony was conflicted for hours after the memo's release, repeatedly speaking of the love he has for both Q102 and all the great Q-listeners, but he ultimately concluded that he could not quiet his moral indignation.

"This is Madman Mike in the morning, and I am a member of the fourth estate," said Antony, who was born Michael Kravitz in nearby Plovis and grew up listening to Q102, then a classic-rock station. "I have a responsibility to provide unbiased wake-up zaniness, hard-rocking hits and celebrity impressions, and that's a responsibility I don't take lightly. If I were to get in bed with every car dealer and theme restaurant that wants sponsorship, morning radio would soon be no better than the commercial wasteland of evening drive-time."

Bob Adler Chrysler Plymouth, site of the upcoming Minivans & Maxi-Hits Summer Sales Event.

Antony continued: "If I allowed myself to be corrupted, I'd violate the sacred trust of everyone from the ninth caller—who's about to win a pair of all-day passes to the Little America Family Park, Oak Park's fun in the country—to my partner, Screamin' Steve Greene. I don't think I could live with that."

When asked whether he would stand by his partner's boycott, Greene declined to speak to reporters, but did make a pre-recorded announcement.

"Come on down to Bob Adler Chrysler Plymouth!" Greene said. "I'll be there with the Q102 Urban Assault Vehicle playin' the hits and giving away free Q-Zone T-shirts, hats and bumper stickers! Register to win a free tank of gas! Enjoy a free hot dog as you party with the Hooters girls and check out the great deals on a new minivan as you groove to the sound of Oak Park's own Phat Phreddy & The Phreeloaders! It's Minivans and Maxi-Hits at Bob Adler Chrysler Plymouth! See you there!"

Greene also indicated that there will be free balloons for the kids.

Antony said he was "greatly disappointed" by his partner's decision to participate in the event.

"This goes against everything I stand for," Antony said. "I envisioned that Urban Assault Vehicle as a powerful tool for community involvement, as it was when it appeared in the Strawberry Days Parade. This slammin' summer sales event is just base buffoonery."

"Sure, I might have taken it to a few celebrity dunk-tank appearances at the Chamber Of Commerce Casino Night, but that was dignified," Antony added. "It helped the whole city, not just a corporate pawn like Bob Adler."

Despite threats of dismissal from Q102, Antony vowed that he will not bow to crass commercialism, no matter the consequences.

"To promote the Minivans & Maxi-Hits Summer Sales Event would force me to compromise my journalistic impartiality," Antony said. "I'd probably be expected to fail to mention all that road construction out near Adler's at the intersection of Hwy. 74 and County Road PD. It's bumper-to-bumper traffic all the way to Adler's, compadres."

Aware that his airtime may be limited, in one final act of defiance Antony asked listeners to destroy their Super Q Cards, which until then provided them with great deals and discounts at participating Oak Park restaurants, car washes and dry cleaners. Antony then proceeded to rip up his own Super Q Card, number 0004, live on the air, emphasizing the symbolic act with a volley of "ripping" flatulence sound effects before launching into Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It."

"People may mock wacky morning DJs as ivory-tower idealists, but in today's media environment, somebody has to be," Antony told his listeners before handing the mic over to Judy "Q At Noon" Acapulco. "I want you all to think long and hard about that, especially Todd and the gang down at the Northwest Carpets Factory Outlet Store, who need some Ricky Martin to get them through Remainder Month."

On principle, Antony refused to speculate on whether or not Remainder Month would be an opportunity to experience huge savings.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close