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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Waitress Creeped Out By Overtipper

UTICA, NY—A $7 tip for a $1.59 breakfast special creeped out Ed's Diner waitress Juliet Drake Monday, leaving her feeling uneasy about the implications of the diner's unusual generosity. "God, I hope he wasn't putting the moves on me," Drake, 26, told fellow waitress Paulette Rudd. "If he comes back, get ready to switch sections with me." The unidentified overtipper, described as a heavy-set, fortyish, blue-collar type, has dined at Tom's an estimated 10 times in the past two weeks. The size of his previous tips are unknown at this time.

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