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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Waitress Creeped Out By Overtipper

UTICA, NY—A $7 tip for a $1.59 breakfast special creeped out Ed's Diner waitress Juliet Drake Monday, leaving her feeling uneasy about the implications of the diner's unusual generosity. "God, I hope he wasn't putting the moves on me," Drake, 26, told fellow waitress Paulette Rudd. "If he comes back, get ready to switch sections with me." The unidentified overtipper, described as a heavy-set, fortyish, blue-collar type, has dined at Tom's an estimated 10 times in the past two weeks. The size of his previous tips are unknown at this time.

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