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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Waitress Only Friendly When Bringing The Check

MURFREESBORO, TN— According to customers at Po' Boys Family Restaurant, waitress Melanie Bostic is only friendly when bringing the check. "About 10 minutes after I sat down, she walks over and says, 'Know whatcha want?' No 'hi' or anything," customer Bruce Banda said. "Then, when I'm done eating, all of a sudden I get a big smile and my name is 'Honey.'" Fellow customer Sandi Herzog agreed. "The placemats boast of Po' Boys' 'Famous Friendly Service,'" Herzog said. "That probably should say, 'Famous Curt, Inconsiderate Service Until We Want You To Pay And Leave.'"

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