Walgreens Manager Certain Dead Father Would Have Been Proud Of Crest Toothpaste Display

In This Section

Vol 49 Issue 01

The View

ABC 11 a.m. EST/12 p.m. CST The ladies recount their first murders.

'Downton Abbey' Returns To U.S. TV

The third season of the popular British period drama Downton Abbey made its U.S. premiere last night on PBS, prompting many fans to throw early-1900s-themed viewing parties.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Holiday

Walgreens Manager Certain Dead Father Would Have Been Proud Of Crest Toothpaste Display

ST. PAUL, MN—Saying his late father must be looking down at him and smiling, local Walgreens manager Lawrence Trow stated Wednesday that “Dad would be proud” of the eye-catching endcap display his son had arranged to call attention to the store’s offering of Crest toothpaste. “I really wish my dad were alive to see this,” the misty-eyed 42-year-old said as he adjusted the topmost box in a tall stack of alternating Crest Pro-Health and Crest Tartar Protection tubes. “He worked hard his whole life, and he always enjoyed seeing a job well done, you know? Ah, well. This one’s for you, Dad.” On the other hand, Trow added, he should perhaps be thankful his father never lived to see the hasty, shoddy work his son put into the Herbal Essences window display, which is total shit.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More