Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content
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Walgreens Manager Certain Dead Father Would Have Been Proud Of Crest Toothpaste Display

ST. PAUL, MN—Saying his late father must be looking down at him and smiling, local Walgreens manager Lawrence Trow stated Wednesday that “Dad would be proud” of the eye-catching endcap display his son had arranged to call attention to the store’s offering of Crest toothpaste. “I really wish my dad were alive to see this,” the misty-eyed 42-year-old said as he adjusted the topmost box in a tall stack of alternating Crest Pro-Health and Crest Tartar Protection tubes. “He worked hard his whole life, and he always enjoyed seeing a job well done, you know? Ah, well. This one’s for you, Dad.” On the other hand, Trow added, he should perhaps be thankful his father never lived to see the hasty, shoddy work his son put into the Herbal Essences window display, which is total shit.

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