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Politics

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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Walletless Biden Found Handcuffed To Bedpost

WASHINGTON—According to an incident report filed by the Secret Service, special agents responded early Wednesday morning to a distress call from Number One Observatory Circle and arrived to discover Vice President Joe Biden chained to a bed, spread-eagle, with a pair of cutoff denim shorts around his ankles. Though White House officials have refused to comment, the report indicates that Biden told agents his wallet was missing and detailed its contents as a lucky two-dollar bill, a Sizzler gift card, and a Federal Bikini Inspector badge. After further questioning of the vice president, the Secret Service advised local law enforcement to be on the lookout for a stolen white 1981 Trans Am driven by "this real feisty little firecracker."

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

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