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Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Was the Chinese government justified in posthumously charging 20,000 citizens with "subversive seismic activity"?

More than 20,000 Chinese citizens were posthumously tried and charged with "subversion of state power by engaging in illegal seismic activity" for their role in the earthquake which destroyed nearly $500 million in government buildings. Was the charge justified?

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