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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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Washington Redskins Ease Tensions With Native Americans By Adding Bottle Of Booze To Logo

WASHINGTON—Hoping to alleviate the controversy surrounding their allegedly racist name, representatives for the Washington Redskins announced Thursday that they will attempt to ease tensions with the nation’s outraged Native Americans by adding a bottle of liquor to the football team’s official logo. “We have heard the complaints from the Native American community about our logo, and we are making some key design changes so that we can at last put this matter behind us,” franchise owner Dan Snyder told reporters at a press conference in which he unveiled the newest iteration of the team’s emblem, which now features a 1.75-liter plastic jug of Black Velvet blended whiskey alongside the Redskins’ traditional Indian head profile. “After years of contentious back-and-forth over the issue, we decided to come up with a logo that at last pays fitting tribute to this country’s proud native peoples. And we believe this is that logo. You redskins like-um the firewater, right?” According to team sources, in a further attempt to mend relations with the Native American community, the Redskins have elected to donate thousands of smallpox-infested blankets to the nation’s Indian reservations.

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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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