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The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Washington Redskins Ease Tensions With Native Americans By Adding Bottle Of Booze To Logo

WASHINGTON—Hoping to alleviate the controversy surrounding their allegedly racist name, representatives for the Washington Redskins announced Thursday that they will attempt to ease tensions with the nation’s outraged Native Americans by adding a bottle of liquor to the football team’s official logo. “We have heard the complaints from the Native American community about our logo, and we are making some key design changes so that we can at last put this matter behind us,” franchise owner Dan Snyder told reporters at a press conference in which he unveiled the newest iteration of the team’s emblem, which now features a 1.75-liter plastic jug of Black Velvet blended whiskey alongside the Redskins’ traditional Indian head profile. “After years of contentious back-and-forth over the issue, we decided to come up with a logo that at last pays fitting tribute to this country’s proud native peoples. And we believe this is that logo. You redskins like-um the firewater, right?” According to team sources, in a further attempt to mend relations with the Native American community, the Redskins have elected to donate thousands of smallpox-infested blankets to the nation’s Indian reservations.

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