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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Washington Watcher: Pentagon Warns Of Viral Video Cyber Attack

According to a Pentagon statement, a raid on the the home of al Qaeda operative Khalid al Shehri revealed a cache of tools which could have been used to conduct a second cyber attack: hundreds of kittens, many with little red bows tied around their necks, as well as several crates of teeny tiny Yoda costumes. The Pentagon stated they do not know at this time whether al Shehri's intent was to place the Star Wars costumes on babies or small dogs, but that either could have been devastatingly cute. Even more frightening, the raid also produced a detailed plan for kidnapping Justin Bieber. As a safety precaution, Pentagon officials immediately buried Bieber in a concrete casket six miles below the earth's surface.

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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