Washington’s Hobby Lobby Lobbies To Strengthen Hobbies

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Vol 49 Issue 34

Breaking Bad

AMC 9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT LeVar Burton takes children out to a river, where they catch rainbow trout and try to discern the fish’s personality just by how it flops around on the shore.

Monday, September 2

Due to budget cuts, beginning next week the library is replacing Movie Mondays with Blondie Comic–Reading Mondays.

$80,000 Wedding Beautiful

The Obama family adopts a 44-Year-Old Portuguese water man, a report shows that employers know within the first five minutes whether or not they will murder an applicant, and well, the neighbors just got a pitbull.

Chuck Klosterman Corners Guy At Party Wearing Dio Shirt

NEW YORK—Author Chuck Klosterman reportedly cornered a guy who was wearing a Dio shirt at a party Thursday evening and dominated an exhaustive discussion on the metal band, addressing the group’s fantasy themes, deconstructing lyrics, and expo...

Ben Affleck To Play Batman

The president of Warner Bros. announced yesterday that Ben Affleck will play the role of Batman in the 2015 sequel to this summer’s Man of Steel, in which Batman will join forces with Superman.
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Washington’s Hobby Lobby Lobbies To Strengthen Hobbies

‘We’ll Lobby For Hobbies All The Way To Abu Dhabi,’ Says Lobby Rep Robbie Stobby

WASHINGTON—In an appeal for the strengthening of the world’s greatest hobbies, Hobby Lobby representative Robbie H. Stobby vowed today to press for funding of a full range of hobbies. “My name is Robbie Stobby, and I am here to lobby for hobbies,” said Stobby from the Congressional lobby, accompanied by his wife, Elise Tobbie-Stobby. “This snobby Congress needs to quit being knobby and recognize the Hobby Lobby. Well, I say it’s as bad as if we were under Mugabe. And, to diverge for a moment, the Kennedy I like best is Bobby. He was a great legislator and a significant influence on my political career.” Stobby then exited the stage for a meeting with Iraq’s Ahmed Chalabi, to discuss funding the hobbies of the Australian Kabi Kabi.

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