adBlockCheck

Politics

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
End Of Section
  • More News

Washington’s Hobby Lobby Lobbies To Strengthen Hobbies

‘We’ll Lobby For Hobbies All The Way To Abu Dhabi,’ Says Lobby Rep Robbie Stobby

WASHINGTON—In an appeal for the strengthening of the world’s greatest hobbies, Hobby Lobby representative Robbie H. Stobby vowed today to press for funding of a full range of hobbies. “My name is Robbie Stobby, and I am here to lobby for hobbies,” said Stobby from the Congressional lobby, accompanied by his wife, Elise Tobbie-Stobby. “This snobby Congress needs to quit being knobby and recognize the Hobby Lobby. Well, I say it’s as bad as if we were under Mugabe. And, to diverge for a moment, the Kennedy I like best is Bobby. He was a great legislator and a significant influence on my political career.” Stobby then exited the stage for a meeting with Iraq’s Ahmed Chalabi, to discuss funding the hobbies of the Australian Kabi Kabi.

More from this section

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close