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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
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Washington’s Hobby Lobby Lobbies To Strengthen Hobbies

‘We’ll Lobby For Hobbies All The Way To Abu Dhabi,’ Says Lobby Rep Robbie Stobby

WASHINGTON—In an appeal for the strengthening of the world’s greatest hobbies, Hobby Lobby representative Robbie H. Stobby vowed today to press for funding of a full range of hobbies. “My name is Robbie Stobby, and I am here to lobby for hobbies,” said Stobby from the Congressional lobby, accompanied by his wife, Elise Tobbie-Stobby. “This snobby Congress needs to quit being knobby and recognize the Hobby Lobby. Well, I say it’s as bad as if we were under Mugabe. And, to diverge for a moment, the Kennedy I like best is Bobby. He was a great legislator and a significant influence on my political career.” Stobby then exited the stage for a meeting with Iraq’s Ahmed Chalabi, to discuss funding the hobbies of the Australian Kabi Kabi.

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