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Watching TV Shows On DVD The Way To Do It, Area Man Reports

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Watching TV Shows On DVD The Way To Do It, Area Man Reports

MILLERSVILLE, PA—Local resident Thomas Humphrey, 36, blasted traditional American methods of viewing episodic television Monday, proclaiming that watching a series on DVD is "the way to do it." "There's no commercials, no waiting for next week's show, and you can stay up all night watching 14 episodes in a row if you want to," said Humphrey, adding that without the convenient digital medium, he would not have been able to view all three seasons of the canceled CW series Veronica Mars in a single week. "It turned out to be a pretty good show, and I would have never, ever watched that on regular TV because the time slots always changed. Who has the time to follow that stuff?" When asked if he had seen the final episode of The Wire, Humphrey became visibly upset, saying he is only on season three, and if reporters did not stop talking about it, he would leave the room.

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