WB Press Release Details Batman Movie

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Vol 47 Issue 03

"Late Inning Drama" Episode Guide

Episode 1: Odd Manager Out The Arrows have a new manager, but he's not what he seems. Masters thinks there's a killer on the team, but all his evidence is circumstantial. Meanwhile he's giving up monstrous home runs. Will the team crack their los...

In Memory Of Susan Merriweather

With great regret, we wish to inform you of the death of Onion News Network international reporter Susan Merriweather. Susan, who started at the Onion News Network as Today Now's denim correspondent in 2002 and worked her way up to become one of the netwo...
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WB Press Release Details Batman Movie

In what is being described as a "foreign policy game-changer," North Korean leader Kim Jong Il will give up his nation's nuclear program in exchange for the lead role in the next Batman film. The following press release was issued by Warner Brothers pictures this morning:

"Warner Brothers, in partnership with Legendary Pictures, the U.S. State Department, and Best Pyongyang Cinema Consortium, is thrilled to announce 'National Batman Hero For The Betterment Of Economic Self-Sufficiency,' an exciting new chapter in the globally beloved Batman franchise. The film follows National Batman Hero as he takes on a host of villainous Western Capitalists who seek to rob Gotham City of its ten thousand North Korean flags during the twice-daily Dancing Flag ceremony. After besting The Riddler (South Korean President Lee Myung Bak) and USA Laugh Nemesis (the late Heath Ledger, appearing in a CGI performance created by George Lucas' Industrial Light & Magic), National Batman Hero thrusts himself with the strength of many phantoms against his greatest obstacle yet: A volcano at the center of Gotham City that threatens to bury its workers under Western propaganda literature and a dragon/snake monster who drinks the blood of workers. Under the direction of Christopher Nolan, and co-starring Celine Dion as National Batman Hero's butler Alfred, 'NBHFTBOESS' is an edge-of-your-seat thrill ride featuring more than ten large-scale musical numbers that will leave you cheering in a respectful and orderly manner."
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