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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.
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We In Golden Age Of Thing, Guy Who Likes Thing Reports

TULSA, OK—According to 37-year-old aficionado Niles Stefanovich, who said he's been following this for a really long time, we are currently living through a golden age of the thing he personally enjoys, takes great interest in, and is knowledgeable of. "What we're seeing now is a full-on renaissance—it hasn't been this good since the '70s," Stefanovich told reporters Tuesday, listing several examples of the thing now getting "way overdue" recognition. "I think people will look back at 2011 as a crucial turning point for [the thing]." Stefanovich warned that it was only a matter of time before it all got completely watered-down, so people should enjoy it now before the whole thing gets co-opted by Nike or McDonald's.

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