Website's New Layout Feels Like Deepest Betrayal

In This Section

Vol 49 Issue 15

Man Hacks Into Plane’s Flight Controls Using Phone App

To draw attention to the vulnerabilities of flight control systems, a security consultant created an app for his Android phone that lets him remotely seize control of a jetliner’s autopilot function, potentially allowing him to alter its flight path...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Customer Service

Comfort

  • Entire Room Mentally Shaving Man's Facial Hair

    WHITE PLAINS, NY—Stunned and visibly offended by the sheer volume of facial hair visible before them, every single customer at local diner Hubbard's this morning was reportedly eyeing 28-year-old fellow patron David Kellerman and mentally shaving of...

Website's New Layout Feels Like Deepest Betrayal

SPOKANE, WA—After visiting feminist news and culture blog Jezebel Wednesday morning, local woman Rebecca Lovett, 29, reported feeling “betrayal’s stinging lance” upon discovering the website had undergone a layout redesign. “What treason is this? Like a fool I trusted them, and my trust was rewarded with cruel duplicity,” said Lovett of the the site’s new scrolling blog format. “What am I to make of this vile Judas kiss, this alien thing that has supplanted my cherished layout without warning or mercy?” Lovett told reporters she would soon visit the website’s comments section to “pour black vitriol on the cowardly traitors.”

Jump to next story

Onion Video

Watch More