adBlockCheck

Wedding Catering Cart Videotaped For Posterity

Top Headlines

Local

Mom Sleeps In Past Sunrise

WOBURN, MA―Noting that she had somehow managed to sleep through both the dawn chorus of birds and her neighborhood’s early morning garbage pickup, 53-year-old local mother Laura Maloney confirmed that she did not awaken Monday until after the sun had risen.

Area Dad Needs More Time With Museum Plaque

NEW YORK—Leaning in close to the paragraph of text as his family continued on to the museum’s other exhibits, area dad and Frick Collection visitor Phillip Schermeier, 58, reportedly needed more time with the plaque beside Rembrandt’s 1626 painting Palamedes In Front Of Agamemnon Thursday.

Friend From College Wasted No Time Becoming White-Collar Professional

CHARLOTTE, NC—Noting how his fellow 23-year-old now takes business trips and apparently has a company-issued cell phone, local barista Daniel MacKenzie reported Friday that his friend Eric Sanford—with whom MacKenzie attended the University of Virginia from 2011 to 2015—has wasted no time at all becoming a full-fledged white-collar professional.

Waitress Who Took Over At Table Just Doesn’t Have Same Spark As Richard

FREEPORT, ME—Sensing things wouldn’t be the same once the woman removed their empty potato skin basket without so much as a playful acknowledgment of how much they must have enjoyed the appetizer, patrons at Downeast Grill confirmed Wednesday night that their new waitress, Allie, just didn’t have the same spark Richard had.

Man Practices Haircut Request Before Heading To Barber

MINNEAPOLIS—Having scripted a set of lines he hoped to deliver with confidence and decisiveness, local 34-year-old Jason Clyne carefully rehearsed his haircut request several times Friday before heading to his local barbershop, sources confirmed.

Ronald McDonald Statue Bears Full Brunt Of Teenagers’ Mockery

CLEVELAND—Remaining stoically silent throughout the barrage of vicious insults, unsavory accusations, and various other indignities directed at it, a statue of Ronald McDonald seated on a bench outside the fast-food chain’s Clark Avenue location is said to have borne the full force of a group of teenagers’ mockery Thursday.

Woman Leaving Meeting Worried She Came Off As Too Competent

OXNARD, CA—Silently chastising herself for the way she behaved in front of her colleagues and supervisors, Cobalt Property Insurance sales associate Leah Manning, 36, was reportedly deeply worried Tuesday that she came off as too competent during the company’s weekly sales meeting.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Wedding Catering Cart Videotaped For Posterity

PAWTUCKET, RI—As part of uncle-of-the-bride Ronald Schwepp's extensive coverage of the Schwepp-Ploman wedding, a reception-dinner catering cart was videotaped for posterity Saturday.

The catering cart, as captured on vieotape for viewing by future generations.

The cart has been preserved for countless future generations on one of the four unlabeled two-hour VHS tapes Schwepp filled at the event.

"I was serving plates to some of the back tables when I noticed [Schwepp] videotaping my cart," said Four Starz Catering employee Erin Ringler, 18. "It was obvious that he didn't want to miss capturing an important detail of the wedding like what kind of trays the food came on, so I stepped aside to give him a clear shot."

"At some point in the future, someone might be telling a story about Jen and Travis' wedding and realize they've forgotten how big the catering carts were, or how many wheels they had," Ringler said. "That person can now simply refer to the tape."

The shaky, hand-held footage of the tri-level wheelable wooden cart was taken between 6:20 and 6:27 p.m., according to the ever-present read-out in the lower left-hand corner of the video.

UCLA film and media expert Randall Phelps praised Schwepp's work.

"Thanks to this exhaustive documentary, future generations of Schwepps and Plomans will not be left to wonder in what manner pieces of the wedding cake were delivered to the tables," Phelps said. "Their heirs will know, for the cart will be right before their very eyes on the television screen, as if they were witnessing it firsthand."

"These progeny will also know which entree selection was preferred, based on Schwepp's shots of the dirty plates on the bus carts," he added.

The catering cart, the subject of seven of the 478 minutes of wedding footage, is one of more than 300 objects videotaped by Schwepp at the event. Among the others: a stack of folding chairs, Cousin Beverly's discarded corsage, the DJ station, a tray of rum and Cokes, the streamers on the bathroom doors, a Chrysler LeBaron convertible in the parking lot, and the soda machines in the vending area down the hall.

Equal time is devoted to the exchange of vows, the bushes outside the church, the best man's toast at dinner, and a lengthy pan of the empty hotel jacuzzi.

"Our descendants will not be forced to wonder what happened at the Ramada West on August 14," Phelps said. "Our children, our children's children, and their children can see all the events of this sacred day: the ceremony, the dinner, the dance, and Ronald Schwepp's 19-minute van ride from the church to the reception."

The videotapes are now in the hands of the newlyweds, who have filed them safely away on the top shelf of a hall closet, where they will remain untouched, assured of their place in history.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close