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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Week 1 Of NFL Season Proves Tackling Still Preferred Method Of Bringing Down Ball Carrier

NEW YORK—An analysis of 16 professional football games conducted during the first week of the NFL season found that tackling, the act of forcing an opponent to the ground, remains the preferred method of stopping the forward movement of a ball carrier. "In the preseason, we tried a few new techniques like bargaining and hypnotism to take down the guy with the ball," said Baltimore Ravens defensive coordinator Greg Mattison, who added that he encourages players to use all forms of tackling, from diving into an opponent's legs to touching an opponent after he has already fallen to the ground. "But ultimately, tackling works the best." The Detroit Lions remain the only NFL team that opts not to use tackling, which experts agree probably has a negative effect on the team's standings.

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Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

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