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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Weekend Encounter With Coworker Never Acknowledged

LUBBOCK, TX—Despite a pleasant two-minute chat following a chance encounter at a local restaurant over the weekend, coworkers Ned Haines and Rupert Walford greeted each other at the office Monday with little more than a cursory nod, sources at TexTech Solutions reported. “Hey, man,” Haines said as he passed Walford in the hallway, his tone and expression betraying no sign that the pair had for the first time ever run into each other outside of work and engaged in a friendly exchange about their weekend plans, their wives, and their children. “Hey,” answered Walford, as though he in some way regretted the one moment of relative intimacy in their two-year-old work relationship. Experts predicted that the incident would never be spoken of again, with conversations between the pair actually becoming even more strained for the next six weeks or so.

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