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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Weird Child Pretends To Be Utility Infielder Mark DeRosa While Playing Baseball With Friends

WASHINGTON—Playground sources told reporters Thursday that 10-year-old oddball Scott Corello always pretends to be utility infielder Mark DeRosa during baseball games with friends and confirmed that the versatile Washington Nationals player is the “little weirdo’s” all-time favorite “big leaguer.” “Whenever Scott plays with us, he’s always saying that he wants to switch from second base to third or shortstop so he can be just like this guy Mark DeRosa,” said 11-year-old Ethan Abramson, adding that “the spaz” once drew a seven on his shirt with a marker to have the same number as DeRosa. “A lot of times he’ll just sit out and wait for somebody in the field to get tired so he can sub in and ‘shore up the defense like DeRosa would.’ He’s such a little freak.” At press time, Corello was reportedly mimicking DeRosa’s batting style by hitting line-drive singles to left field.

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