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Weird Child Pretends To Be Utility Infielder Mark DeRosa While Playing Baseball With Friends

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In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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Weird Child Pretends To Be Utility Infielder Mark DeRosa While Playing Baseball With Friends

WASHINGTON—Playground sources told reporters Thursday that 10-year-old oddball Scott Corello always pretends to be utility infielder Mark DeRosa during baseball games with friends and confirmed that the versatile Washington Nationals player is the “little weirdo’s” all-time favorite “big leaguer.” “Whenever Scott plays with us, he’s always saying that he wants to switch from second base to third or shortstop so he can be just like this guy Mark DeRosa,” said 11-year-old Ethan Abramson, adding that “the spaz” once drew a seven on his shirt with a marker to have the same number as DeRosa. “A lot of times he’ll just sit out and wait for somebody in the field to get tired so he can sub in and ‘shore up the defense like DeRosa would.’ He’s such a little freak.” At press time, Corello was reportedly mimicking DeRosa’s batting style by hitting line-drive singles to left field.

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