Weird Couple Has Greatest Sex Of Their Lives After Announcement Of Disney-LucasFilm Merger

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Vol 48 Issue 44

Natalie Blasi

After realizing no one else was going to step up, Natalie Blasi assumed the role of the person who lets everyone in the post office line know how long they’ve all been waiting.
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Weird Couple Has Greatest Sex Of Their Lives After Announcement Of Disney-LucasFilm Merger

NASHUA, NH—Following yesterday’s announcement that the Walt Disney Co. had acquired movie studio Lucasfilm Ltd. for $4.05 billion, local couple John Campbell and Linda Clarke had the most mind-blowing sex of their lives, the utterly bizarre pair told reporters. “Wow, that was incredible,” an exhausted Clarke said to Campbell after the intense lovemaking session, which reportedly began in an odd moment of passion brought on by industry news that Disney now owns rights to R2-D2, Chewbacca, and other Star Wars properties. “I feel amazing.” The exceedingly strange couple added that they hadn’t had such great sex since 2007, when they “couldn’t keep their hands off each other” after learning Brendan Fraser had signed on to reprise his role as explorer Rick O’Connell for a third film in The Mummy franchise.

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