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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Weird Guy From 2 Jobs Ago Still Liking Woman’s Photos On Facebook

NORFOLK, VA—Though she hasn’t spoken with him since they were both employees of American Mutual Insurance back in 2008, local woman Rebecca Pittman, 30, said Thursday that her former coworker Jeff Wallach, 35, still frequently “likes” her photos on Facebook. “At least once or twice a week I can count on getting a notification that says he likes one of my pictures,” Pittman told reporters, adding that she and Wallach were never at any point close friends, though they occasionally made small talk in their office’s break room. “Even if someone tags me in a photo of a large group of people he’s never met, there’s still a pretty good chance he’ll like it. And weirdest of all, sometimes he’ll click ‘like’ when I accept a friend request from someone he couldn’t possibly know. Why the hell would anyone do that?” Pittman went on to admit that on the rare occasions when Wallach fails to like one of her Facebook photos, she actually gets a little bit offended and wonders if maybe there’s something wrong with it.

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