adBlockCheck

Recent News

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Well, Doesn't Area Businessman Look Dapper For His Big Flight To Philadelphia

MINNEAPOLIS—According to sources, well, well, well, doesn’t this local businessman look very dapper indeed in his fancy little suit and shiny shoes as he heads to his big businessman flight to Philadelphia. Mr. Executive himself, who sources confirmed looked like a real mover and shaker in his snazzy cufflinks and neatly combed hair, is almost certainly going to a very important place to make a very important business deal because he’s reportedly such a very important and impressive person. Perhaps, numerous witnesses speculated, the fancy businessman will be met at baggage claim in Philadelphia by a man in a chauffeur’s cap who will be holding—my, my, sources added—a little piece of paper with the businessman’s name on it! At press time, the very, very special little deal-making business person was reportedly unlocking his combination briefcase and reading some oh-so-important business papers with a very serious, concentrating face because he’s such a big success.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings