Well, Doesn't Area Businessman Look Dapper For His Big Flight To Philadelphia

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Well, Doesn't Area Businessman Look Dapper For His Big Flight To Philadelphia

MINNEAPOLIS—According to sources, well, well, well, doesn’t this local businessman look very dapper indeed in his fancy little suit and shiny shoes as he heads to his big businessman flight to Philadelphia. Mr. Executive himself, who sources confirmed looked like a real mover and shaker in his snazzy cufflinks and neatly combed hair, is almost certainly going to a very important place to make a very important business deal because he’s reportedly such a very important and impressive person. Perhaps, numerous witnesses speculated, the fancy businessman will be met at baggage claim in Philadelphia by a man in a chauffeur’s cap who will be holding—my, my, sources added—a little piece of paper with the businessman’s name on it! At press time, the very, very special little deal-making business person was reportedly unlocking his combination briefcase and reading some oh-so-important business papers with a very serious, concentrating face because he’s such a big success.