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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Well-Meaning Friends Once Again Try To Set Up Cheryl Miller With Reggie Miller

RIVERSIDE, CA—According to sources close to the former college basketball star, friends of Cheryl Miller once again attempted to set her up on a date with retired Indiana Pacer Reggie Miller on Saturday, apparently still unaware that the two are siblings. “Seriously, you guys have so much in common,” said Miller’s close friend Danielle Kaelin, stressing that the couple would “really hit it off if [Miller] would just give him a chance.” “Reggie loves basketball as much as you do. He played in college and even a few years in the NBA. I won’t lie to you Cheryl—he’s not the best looking guy out there. But he’s still in really great shape for his age, and he’s really rich, too.” At press time, a resigned Miller begrudgingly agreed to go out on a dinner date next week with her younger brother.

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