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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Well-Meaning Friends Once Again Try To Set Up Cheryl Miller With Reggie Miller

RIVERSIDE, CA—According to sources close to the former college basketball star, friends of Cheryl Miller once again attempted to set her up on a date with retired Indiana Pacer Reggie Miller on Saturday, apparently still unaware that the two are siblings. “Seriously, you guys have so much in common,” said Miller’s close friend Danielle Kaelin, stressing that the couple would “really hit it off if [Miller] would just give him a chance.” “Reggie loves basketball as much as you do. He played in college and even a few years in the NBA. I won’t lie to you Cheryl—he’s not the best looking guy out there. But he’s still in really great shape for his age, and he’s really rich, too.” At press time, a resigned Miller begrudgingly agreed to go out on a dinner date next week with her younger brother.

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