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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Well-Rested Bush At The Top Of His Game

CRAWFORD, TX—Fit, trim, confident in his power base, and above all well-rested following a four-week, three-day vacation at his Crawford ranch, President Bush is currently in the prime of his presidential form, pundits say. "Our leader is pumped and primed following his well-earned time off from the economy and the war in Iraq," commentator Sean Hannity said on his radio show Monday. "He is ready to do whatever this nation requires of him—delegating responsibility to capable people, winning a war, rallying citizens around him in the aftermath of a disaster—whatever may come." Bush had originally planned to extend his vacation, as eminently qualified FEMA head Michael Brown is assumed to be taking charge of a routine hurricane in New Orleans.

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