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Well-Rested Bush At The Top Of His Game

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Well-Rested Bush At The Top Of His Game

CRAWFORD, TX—Fit, trim, confident in his power base, and above all well-rested following a four-week, three-day vacation at his Crawford ranch, President Bush is currently in the prime of his presidential form, pundits say. "Our leader is pumped and primed following his well-earned time off from the economy and the war in Iraq," commentator Sean Hannity said on his radio show Monday. "He is ready to do whatever this nation requires of him—delegating responsibility to capable people, winning a war, rallying citizens around him in the aftermath of a disaster—whatever may come." Bush had originally planned to extend his vacation, as eminently qualified FEMA head Michael Brown is assumed to be taking charge of a routine hurricane in New Orleans.

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