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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Wellesley College Removes Phrase 'Hot All-Girl Action' From School Brochure

WELLESLEY, MA—Responding to widespread protests, Wellesley College is withdrawing the phrase "Hot All-Girl Action" from its recruitment brochures, spokespersons for the prestigious women's college announced Monday. Said Wellesley president Celia Holmes: "Henceforth, our college brochures will no longer tout the '24-hour, non-stop lesbo pussy party' aspect of the Wellesley experience." Holmes also said that, from now on, the school's website will be accessible without a credit-card number.

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