Wes Welker

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Vol 50 Issue 04

Girl Scouts Introduce Gluten-Free Cookies

In an effort to better accommodate those with gluten intolerance, a number of Girl Scout troops around the country will sell a gluten-free version of their chocolate chip shortbread cookie.

Huskies Unstoppable During Cold-Weather Puppy Bowl

NEW YORK—Overcoming frigid temperatures and biting winds, a team of husky puppies overpowered and trounced the opposition Sunday during Puppy Bowl X, the first ever cold-weather Puppy Bowl. As temperatures dropped into the low twenties, puppies atte...

Seahawks vs. Broncos

The Seahawks battle the Broncos in a game that players will be treating like the Super Bowl. Onion Sports examines what each team must do to win.
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Wes Welker

Wide Receiver, Denver Broncos

Strengths: Always willing to take one for the team that results in permanent brain trauma; Runs routes that are imperceptible to the human eye

Weaknesses: Demaryius Thomas, Eric Decker; Tangibles

College: Who gives a shit

First Football: 1973 Ford Spiral

Home: Lives with wife inside spacious five-bedroom boot

Biggest Fear: Known only to Bill Belichick

Lifelong Dream: Catching an easy pass from Tom Brady while wide open during the fourth quarter of Super Bowl XLVI

Vehicle: Tiny carriage pulled by six mice

NEXT: Champ Bailey

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