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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Whale Expert Measures Everything In Elephants

SEATTLE—Marine biologist and best-selling author of A Children's Guide To Blue Whales James W. Bradley has begun using the world's largest non-marine mammal, the elephant, as his standard unit of measurement not only in his work but in daily life as well, sources close to the scientist said Monday. "From the 2.5- elephant weight of a city bus to the 12,204- elephant distance between Seattle and Tacoma, it's the only way he can visualize measurement anymore," said his wife Celia Bradley, who is not a whale expert. "We saw a rat in the street the other day and he kept going on and on about how huge it was, saying, 'That thing must've been at least .074 elephants long!'" Bradley was not available for comment, since he was reportedly closing on a three-bedroom, two-bathroom, 40-square-elephant house.
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