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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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What Do U-Say About Mike Brant?

Messages of support for GOP candidate Mike Brant have been flooding our inbox. Here's a small sampling:

"We don't need leaders who went to good schools or have experience in government or can name their own state's capitol. We need leaders like Mike Brant!"
--Randi M., Jacksonville, FL

"As soon as Mike Brant said he wasn't a politician and will never agree to hold any office, I knew he was right for this country."
--Rudolph K., Houston

"In 2010, I voted for a former male model for senator. Mike Brant seems like he knows even less, so I'm definitely throwing my support behind him."
--Frank A., Boston, MA

"Mike Brant isn't going to give us 'politics as usual' because he doesn't even know what that would entail."
--Tammy W., Cleveland, OH

"Mark my words, Brant is going all the way to the White House! We'll make him president even if we have to handcuff him to the desk in the Oval Office!"
--Jeannie, Aurora, CO

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