adBlockCheck

What Do U-Say About Mike Brant?

Top Headlines

Recent News

Michelle Obama: ‘Well, There Are 8 Years Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back’

PHILADELPHIA—Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.

Revelations From The DNC Email Leak

Last week, WikiLeaks posted 20,000 email exchanges among DNC officials, the content of which led to DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s resignation on the eve of the convention. Here are some of the key revelations from the leak

CNN Producer On Hunt For Saddest-Looking Fuck With Convention Button Collection

PHILADELPHIA—Weaving his way through the crowd of patriotically dressed attendees excitedly milling around on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, CNN segment producer Jeff Raskin reportedly went on the hunt Monday for the most pitiful-looking fuck willing to speak on camera about their political button collection.

How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

What Do U-Say About Mike Brant?

Messages of support for GOP candidate Mike Brant have been flooding our inbox. Here's a small sampling:

"We don't need leaders who went to good schools or have experience in government or can name their own state's capitol. We need leaders like Mike Brant!"
--Randi M., Jacksonville, FL

"As soon as Mike Brant said he wasn't a politician and will never agree to hold any office, I knew he was right for this country."
--Rudolph K., Houston

"In 2010, I voted for a former male model for senator. Mike Brant seems like he knows even less, so I'm definitely throwing my support behind him."
--Frank A., Boston, MA

"Mike Brant isn't going to give us 'politics as usual' because he doesn't even know what that would entail."
--Tammy W., Cleveland, OH

"Mark my words, Brant is going all the way to the White House! We'll make him president even if we have to handcuff him to the desk in the Oval Office!"
--Jeannie, Aurora, CO

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close