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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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What's-His-Face Fires Publicist

LOS ANGELES—What's-his-face, possibly best known for his recurring role in a series of pretty big action movies from the past few years, fired longtime publicist Kathy Burns Tuesday, citing her failure to "get [Richard or Scott something's] name out there." "I just felt I wasn't getting the recognition I deserve," said the guy whom you've probably seen a number of times now in a bunch of stuff. "After all, I think I've done some pretty memorable work." What's-his-face will costar in a comedy or drama or something next year with the lovely and talented Kate Albrecht, a Loyola Marymount graduate and former competitive equestrian rider whose film credits include The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement.

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