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Teacher Who Learns More From Her Students Than She Teaches Them Fired

Explaining that her statements indicated a failure to understand and implement the district’s goal of providing a comprehensive education to all children, Southwest High School officials reportedly fired ninth-grade history teacher Jennifer Steenman today after she was heard saying she learns more from her students than they do from her. Full article.

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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What's-His-Face Fires Publicist

LOS ANGELES—What's-his-face, possibly best known for his recurring role in a series of pretty big action movies from the past few years, fired longtime publicist Kathy Burns Tuesday, citing her failure to "get [Richard or Scott something's] name out there." "I just felt I wasn't getting the recognition I deserve," said the guy whom you've probably seen a number of times now in a bunch of stuff. "After all, I think I've done some pretty memorable work." What's-his-face will costar in a comedy or drama or something next year with the lovely and talented Kate Albrecht, a Loyola Marymount graduate and former competitive equestrian rider whose film credits include The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement.

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