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20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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‘When I’m Acquitted, I’ll Murder Those Interviewers,’ Robert Durst Mutters While Still Wearing Microphone

NEW ORLEANS—Following his arrest Saturday after he unknowingly implicated himself in the 2000 slaying of his friend Susan Berman during the taping of the television documentary The Jinx, real estate heir Robert Durst reportedly muttered his intention to murder his interviewers from the HBO special while unaware he was still wearing the live microphone they had placed on him three years ago. “The second I’m out, I’ll shoot those moviemaking pricks that put me in here, and then I’ll saw apart their bodies and hide them,” Durst said while in his holding cell, apparently still oblivious to the lavalier mic that has been clipped to his shirt since the April 2012 interview and which has recorded numerous incriminating statements he has made since, including the phrases “Of course, they’ll never find where I buried Kathie” and “Maybe I’ll murder my brother sometime soon, too.” “I’m going to kill the producers. I’m going to kill the crew. All of them are dead just as soon as this jury finds me innocent, of course.” At press time, representatives for the New York scion said he was refusing press interviews for privacy reasons.

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