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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
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‘When I’m Acquitted, I’ll Murder Those Interviewers,’ Robert Durst Mutters While Still Wearing Microphone

NEW ORLEANS—Following his arrest Saturday after he unknowingly implicated himself in the 2000 slaying of his friend Susan Berman during the taping of the television documentary The Jinx, real estate heir Robert Durst reportedly muttered his intention to murder his interviewers from the HBO special while unaware he was still wearing the live microphone they had placed on him three years ago. “The second I’m out, I’ll shoot those moviemaking pricks that put me in here, and then I’ll saw apart their bodies and hide them,” Durst said while in his holding cell, apparently still oblivious to the lavalier mic that has been clipped to his shirt since the April 2012 interview and which has recorded numerous incriminating statements he has made since, including the phrases “Of course, they’ll never find where I buried Kathie” and “Maybe I’ll murder my brother sometime soon, too.” “I’m going to kill the producers. I’m going to kill the crew. All of them are dead just as soon as this jury finds me innocent, of course.” At press time, representatives for the New York scion said he was refusing press interviews for privacy reasons.

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