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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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While Cheering On Brother, Eli Manning Struggles To Follow Football Game

INDIANAPOLIS—Clapping randomly as he struggled to follow the action on the field, a confused Eli Manning attempted to cheer for his older brother Peyton in the AFC Championship Sunday, barely comprehending the most basic elements of the game. "Which one is Peyton? Is he the one kicking the ball?" said Manning, the Giants quarterback and Super Bowl XLII MVP. "Are the numbers on the shirts always the same? Wait, is that Peyton's team? He stopped running by that side area, but there's nobody there and now he's sitting down. Come on! Throw it to the guy in the striped shirt, Peyton." Eyewitnesses reported that Manning became very excited and shouted, "Go, go, go, touchdown!" while the grounds crew worked on the field during halftime.

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