adBlockCheck

Sports

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
End Of Section
  • More News

While Cheering On Brother, Eli Manning Struggles To Follow Football Game

INDIANAPOLIS—Clapping randomly as he struggled to follow the action on the field, a confused Eli Manning attempted to cheer for his older brother Peyton in the AFC Championship Sunday, barely comprehending the most basic elements of the game. "Which one is Peyton? Is he the one kicking the ball?" said Manning, the Giants quarterback and Super Bowl XLII MVP. "Are the numbers on the shirts always the same? Wait, is that Peyton's team? He stopped running by that side area, but there's nobody there and now he's sitting down. Come on! Throw it to the guy in the striped shirt, Peyton." Eyewitnesses reported that Manning became very excited and shouted, "Go, go, go, touchdown!" while the grounds crew worked on the field during halftime.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close