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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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While Clearing Out Desk, Dan Patrick Sobs Over Picture Of Him And Tim Kurkjian

BRISTOL, CT—Longtime ESPN anchor Dan Patrick, who recently announced that he will leave the sports network in August, broke into spasms of uncontrollable sobbing after finding an old photo of himself and baseball analyst Tim Kurkjian while clearing out his desk last Friday. "Oh my God, I remember this—this was taken right after I let Lance Armstrong off the Budweiser Hot Seat," Patrick said through tears as he displayed the back of the photograph, which read, "Me, Looking Good! With coworker—Sept. 2005." "I wonder what that guy's up to these days." After regaining his composure, Patrick noted the scene that had just taken place would probably make an excellent SportsCenter commercial.

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