Whitewater Rafting Trip In Which Friend Drowned Still Pretty Fun

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Vol 50 Issue 28

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In an interview with The Guardian, NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden revealed that some U.S. intelligence agents routinely pass around nude photos and other “sexually compromised” images they discover while spying on targets.

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Everyone in the Middle East is given their own country in a 317,000,000-state solution, NASA announces plans to launch a chimpanzee into the sun, and a local mom is $15,000 in the hole with her ceramic frog dealer.

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KKK Recruiting Kids By Handing Out Candy

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Whitewater Rafting Trip In Which Friend Drowned Still Pretty Fun

GLENWOOD SPRINGS, CO—With the sole exception of the death of a close friend, a recent whitewater rafting excursion was deemed a rousing success by the group’s five surviving members, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Except for Daryl falling out and drowning, this trip was a total blast,” said Justin Purley at the conclusion of an exhilarating day of paddling through canyons, navigating Class IV rapids, recovering their friend’s body from the river, and taking photographs of the scenic landscape. “That moment when he bounced out of the raft and smashed his head on the rocks was just about the only time the smile left my face the whole trip. Plus, we saw that eagle!” Purley added that the group would always remember Daryl, as well as the cool old arrowhead they found on the riverbank.

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